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Jokes

A Conference Call in Real Life

2014-02-03 09:01:30

Progress

2014-01-15 17:12:45

Skates in the river water

2013-09-22 15:47:55

Photoshop live - Street Retouch Prank

2013-09-22 14:42:37

Minion - Football - Despicable Me

2013-09-22 14:29:07

Is that the miss of the season?

2013-09-22 14:24:37

Homework

2013-09-22 14:04:34
Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself. Read more...

Hundred dollar bill

2013-09-22 14:02:49
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it. Read more...

Believe in God

2013-09-22 14:01:38
Two goldfish in a bowl talking:
Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water? Read more...

Little Johnny

2013-09-22 14:00:59
Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first! Read more...

Taxi

2013-09-22 14:00:01
A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi. Read more...

Teachers lie

2013-09-22 13:59:14
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"

One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher. Read more...

The Perfect Son

2013-09-22 13:58:05
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday. Read more...

Grammar lesson

2013-09-22 13:56:57
Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense. Read more...

The First 3 Years of Marriage

2013-09-22 13:54:51
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. Read more...

Play the piano

2013-09-22 13:53:24
A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
B: Yes, of course.
A: Great! I never could before! Read more...

Elephant

2013-09-22 13:50:46
A: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.
B: That's impossible. Whose baby?
A: An elephant's. Read more...

Police officer

2013-09-22 13:49:43
A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.

Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk! Read more...

Wedding

2013-09-22 13:48:30
A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman. Read more...

English is fun

2013-09-22 13:47:23
Passport control at the airport:
- Nationality?
- Russian.
- Occupation?
- No, no, just visiting. Read more...

Arab speaking English

2013-09-22 13:47:15
- Do you speak English?
- Yes!
- Name?
- Abdul al-Rhazib.
- Sex?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no... I mean male or female?
- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn't that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer run too fast!.. Read more...

Geography lesson

2013-09-22 13:47:07
Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did. Read more...